"Empachado"

Two mornings ago my dear husband woke me up early. "I have to go see Dona Licha. Have to get there early to get a number", he said. Apparently, Dona Licha is a famous "sobador" ("Hilot" in Filipino) or naturopathic massage therapist. Sick people from near and far come to her for help. Because there is always a lot of people needing to be seen, one has to get there early in the morning to avoid waiting in line for so long.

Husband Dear has been suffering from sore throat and indigestion on and off since he got here 2 months ago. We live in front of a little medical clinic here in Escuintla and he has been seeing this doctor on and off. He's had shots, gargles, pills but the infection keeps coming back after being dormant only for a couple of days or so. HD has blamed the water (which we buy in 12 oz bags, 24 bags for 5Q... about US$0.60 ), the scorching heat (he lived in Chicago for 20 yrs before moving here), the smog and pollution (the house we live in is in the main road and our bedroom is about 3 feet from it, directly above the garage... motorists 24-7 non-stop, (we could smell the burn of rubber tires when they step on the brakes) and the "atol de elote" (corn porridge) that we had from the market the day before. He's been in and out of the bathroom, his body trying to get rid of the infection from both ends... thus the sore throat and bottom.

So off we went to Dona Licha with my 2 sons and HDs aunt. The house was in a quiet neighborhood about 10 minutes away. There was a long line and since they don't give out numbers anymore, we had to wait for our turn. After getting us all situated in plastic chairs that DH had to ask from someone , my 6 year old announced "I'm hungry, can we please go to McDonalds?. The four year old then said "Me too". Let me tell you, its amazing the convincing power two little boys can do. There's the doe-eyed "pretty please sugar on top?", the "please pleeeeaaaaseee pppaaahhhhllleeeaaassseee I'll never stop loving you", or the one my four year old pulls and knows he can "Mommy do you want me to die?" followed by tears and quivering lips.

So off we went to McDonalds with dear aunt, leaving DH behind promising to get back in half an hour. McDonald's was only about 5 blocks away but since that was my first time driving in Guatemala (I just got here from living in Chicago where most people follow proper driving rules), it took us 15 minutes, me all sweating, nervous and furious at a large bellied woman in native mayan clothes with a child strapped behind her and a huge basket of whatever balanced on her head who refused to walk on the sidewalk... i had to blow the horn on her several times. She stopped walking, turned around, gave me the dirtiest look, and continued on her way in the middle of the road!!!

By the time we got in, ordered and sat down, it was time to get back to the "Sobadors" house again. Mothers with little kids would understand how difficult it is to separate Kids and McDonald's playplace. After a few "Five more minutes, mommy", or "I wish Honey didn't have to go to the "doctor" " screams, (my sons call their dad "honey") i finally stood up and started clearing the table, only to see my husband walk in, waved a hand and walk straight to the bathroom. Apparently, after being seen by Dona Licha, who asked him to lie down on a kid sized cot, examined and massaged his belly, declared "Empachado!" with a flick of her finger and ordered him to drink a tall glass of "purgante" which was this whitish creamy oily yucky stuff she concocted, my husband got tired of waiting and decided to walk the 5 or 6 block distance to McDonalds. Because we only had one cell phone, (mine still needed to be unlocked) there was no way for him to call me. I could just imagine him swearing and sweating trying to hold it! He finally came out of the bathroom with a sheepish grin saying, "We have to go home". We did and he stayed close to the bathroom that whole day... and night! The next morning... he woke up like a new man. No upset stomach, no runs, no pain... no "empachado"!!! Now for that sore throat...